Stephen Kahn

The Evolution Babe — too little, too late

In Humor, Uncategorized on December 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Let us consider evolution. Quite a few people have commented on how much the Republican candidates such as Romney and coy quasi candidates such as Palin look not quite real. More like androids or pod people than human beings.

At first I thought, perhaps they are beta versions of androids released before they were quite ready for the market place. Thus Romney’s unconvincing flashes of temper, or Palin’s coyness and inability to hold a steady job, even one as undemanding as Governor of Alaska.

However, I have found a more convincing explanation: Evolution in Action. As this catch phrase needs a better meme, I have started the ball rolling by dubbing her THE EVOLUTION BABE. However, there surely is a better meme, so I ask you, my readers (who may be down to one reader at the moment as my blog fades to black) to find her a better personification.

Anyway, as the tragic, vicious top of the food chain creatures we are, doomed by our own creations – robots, androids, and artificial intelligence programs – The Evolution Babe – [albeit an impersonal and mindless process] has been desperately trying to evolve us to compete with out own Frankenstein-like creations. At the least they will put most humans out of work by the end of the decade. At most, humans will become totally obsolete and irrelevant by the end of the century.

Romney, Caine, Perry, Palin, Bachman and the others are not “pod people” — they ARE real human beings as The Evolution Babe strives to create human beings more robotic than the robots, more android like than the androids, and even less intelligent than the artificial intelligence programs that answer your phone call for customer or technical support at the call center in India or Miami.

Too little, too late, Evolution Babe. We are toast. Stick a fork in us.

  1. I love reading your blog for its cheery thoughts & sentiments. 🙂

  2. Happy to oblige, Karen. What do you like to spread on your toast?

  3. Butter – real butter. 🙂

  4. i thought palin had gone extinct.

  5. No, with a complete valve job she should run fine.

  6. Another possibility is that we have all been sucked through the back of an armoire into an alternate universe, one in which RomneyGingrichPerrySantorumEtcAdNauseum come from a hive creature which can send out its parts in the guise of individuals, faux humanoids let us call them, when the circumstances seem appropriate as in debate settings–et voila!–now you know why the debates are so astonishingly lame and the debaters say such odd things and seem so incomplete* and disturbingly not-very-human.

    *The Rick Perry part of the hive, poor thing, has demonstrated the danger of this strategy, having been launched with enough external body parts to pass as human, but not much in the skull but audio clips and helium to keep the head from flopping over.

  7. How irritating. I remember when I was young, trying to be funny, and then my brother would write something funnier. Now, here he is again, once again being funnier than I am. Hello, bro.

    • Hey. In the spirit of your blog, one tries to be funny despite the gale-force headwinds of doom and gloom. And methane winds as well, which noxious gas I read this morning is bubbling out of the permafrost (now an oxymoron or perhaps misnomer since it’s less and less perm and the frost is slipping away too) at ever increasing rates. Death by planetary fart does not seem like a dignified way to go.

  8. I guess this is close as we old farts get to online chatting. Good to hear from you and say hello to any family members around. If the train gets us across Canada, we may drop in on your one of these days. I was just thinking about playing wiffle ball in Brea when we were kids, and Stormy the cow chasing me after I milked her, and getting on to the high school lawn. Did you know that once she started eating the flowers from a house down the street, and the owner brought her home to us, and told me that he was a cop and would shoot her if he found her on his property again? We have chickens again (though they are well contained), but no cows and no goats.

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