Stephen Kahn

Integrating youngsters with the flock.

In Humor on June 20, 2011 at 4:49 pm

We have begun to take the “teenagers”(two new chicks) outside so they can meet the adults (three hens, Big Mama, Moll, and Little Peep), but keeping them separated, so the adults won’t abuse or kill the youngsters until they have a chance to find their place in the pecking order. Perhaps the United Nations can set up a similar procedure in places such as Libya and Syria.

  1. “Chicken Diplomacy” popped into my mind, but I don’t know if it really fits.

  2. I think its a good thing that chickens don’t have the kind of weapons that the Libyans and Syrians have, otherwise the planned slow and mediated introduction might not go so well…

  3. Oh no, now I am imaging rioting chickens dressed as guerrillas. I think my sense of humor may be broken.

  4. We are still evaluating names for the two new chickens. Lucy and Ethel are in the lead, but “Dumb and Dumber”‘ Tweedledee and Tweedledumb[er] are under consideration as well.

    We have created a separate little fenced area within the larger run for Lucy and Ethel. Lucy is demonstrating great talents as a “break out artist,” already escaping into the larger area to see if the hens would peck her to death. [Fortunately, the hens pay little attention to the “kids” so far and we were able to catch her and return her to her “playpen” before she got into real trouble. This morning my wife and I spent an intense hour re-fencing the playpen to make it breakout proof. [I just looked out the upstairs window and saw the two adolescents still inside their protective area, but digging industriously at the bottom of the fence to get out.]

    Two of humankind’s greatest agricultural products–maize and chickens–have adapted to us so well, they have almost no ability to survive on their own without constant human protection. Both Mrs. and I will be gone most of the day, so it will be exciting to see if any chickens will still be alive on our return.

  5. Karen,

    I regret to say that our chickens are not diplomatic.


    If our chickens had the same kind of weapons, this would probably be the last words I type.


    Your sense of humor has probably been contaminated by exposure to mine over the years. It’s probably something akin to contamination of a “heritage” crop by seeds from a Monsanto genetically modified crop.

    If you choose to have kids, don’t read anything by me for the entire period the child develops in the womb.

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