Stephen Kahn

I invent the yecch-meter for measuring slugs

In Good news, Humor on April 5, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Today I began work on my effort to get the chickens to learn how to eat slugs, something they are a little loath to do. I have never been a drug dealer, getting little children “hooked” on dangerous drugs, but there may be some resemblence to the skills and tactics needed in such an analogy.

Yesterday, I looked for slugs to use in my evil scheme. Usually in spring, there are slugs everywhere. Drat! Foiled again! Not a slug did I find. How come there’s never a slug when you really want one?

Today, I turned over some rocks and found several slugs. As I mentioned, the chickens will eat tiny slugs, but not big slugs. So as I gathered them up, I pondered their size. The were small, but not really tiny. I have a guage for evaluating screw size for our blundering building projects (e.g., building a chicken house). There are systems for evaluating nail sizes. In the United States these are measured in penny sizes.

Obviously I need to devise a slug gauge and a set of sizes. Perhaps slugs can be measured in Yecchs! A really tiny slug that I can hardly make out would be a 1-Yecch! slug, while a gigantic six inch long slug would be a 50-Yecch! slug. The slugs I found were about 3- or 4-Yecch! size.

I put them on a plastic lid with an earthworm and put them in front of the chickens. Chickens are (like me) a bit ADD/HD and they wandered around without paying much attention to my offering. I decided to try and lure them with candy. Our chickens regard oat flakes as candy.

I tossed some candy around the slugs and the earthworms. The chickens began gobbling up the candy. One of the chickens picked up a 3-Yecch! size slug, flailed it around a bit, and eventually ate it!

Success! I am now thinking of preparing slugs wrapped in oat flakes. Sort of like chicken-oat-slug granola.

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  1. Trying very hard not to picture that last piece of information… 😉

  2. This sounds like something Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs would say. 1-Yecch, 4-Yecch. I like your new Yecch Meter idea. We coud measure a lot of Yecchy things with that.

  3. That is true. Except would Calvin eat a slug? Or try to feed it to Hobbs?

  4. He’d feed it to someone else maybe…bure surely not his lifelong friend, Hobbes.

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