Stephen Kahn

Preparation

In Good news on March 24, 2011 at 11:01 pm

I am going to a Red Cross meeting this evening. I tried to take a CPR class last week but there was a mix-up on the schedule, so no one was there to teach the class. A friend of mine pointed out to me to a video from the American Heart Association.

I hope that no one at the meeting tonight needs cpr while I am there. If someone does, I  hope at least one of the people attending jumps in and applies it, while I am scrabbling out my cell phone and dialing 911. However, if all else fails, I now have an idea what to do and if I break the victim’s ribs, they will forgive me if they are revived.

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  1. The cool thing is that even if they don’t forgive you, you’d be protected under the aptly named “Good Samaritan Law.” The fact that there is even a need for such a law says a lot about our degenerate society.

  2. Thank you, David. I feel even more prepared, as I carefully head for the Red Cross meeting tonight. It will be held inside a church which also serves as a shelter, with a generator and a stock of emergency food supplies. I will be able to eat, stay warm, and pray.

  3. It always amazes me, the cavalier manner in which doctors on TV shows jump up and down on a patient’s chest when performing CPR. Presumably the word ‘performing’ explains it; otherwise I entirely fail to see how pumping someone’s heart at a rate that only an elite athlete would be able to maintain for more than a second or two could possibly be helpful.

  4. Woo, while I try to reconcile myself in a cheerful way to the certainy that I will expire, I find that thinking too much about the details is something of a downer. Today, I visited my doctor who told me his chickens are fine and then after some examination told me that my arteries and veins are still doing well and that the pains I have been getting in legs are nothing more than that old bugaboo–tendonitis. Then he got down on the floor and showed me the appropriate exercise to do. I have to love a doctor who is also a method actor.

    Fortunately, he didn’t need to do CPR on me and I did not have to perform it on him. The thought of doing it terrifies me, as does the thought of having it performed on me. I have spoken over the last year with three people who have performed CPR. It’s supposed to rarely be successful, but my “random sample” had a 2/3 success rate. The cop saved a life and was named cop of the year. The woman in my driver safety class also saved a life, and didn’t break any ribs. The volunteer fireman said the victim did not live. The local library also has “shock paddles” hanging on a wall, just to be sophisticated. It all freaks me out; I hope my readers are made of stronger stuff than I am.

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